"I guess it's Christmas coming down
I don't wanna go back home
If I'm not gonna be with you
Then I don't wanna be alone

So fuck your Christmas coming down
I don't wanna go back home
If I'm not gonna be with you
I don't wanna be alone."
-ad

It must be beautiful outside because everyone is smiling and laughing but
I don't feel it
The smoke from this cigarette must be filling my lungs
I must be breathing but
I can't feel it

I don't know if I should climb that ladder so high again
I climb so fast but then fall so far

I have glued myself back together so many times and
I keep taking that first rung again

I trick myself into believing that the glue will hold me this time but
Then I fall and I shatter into pieces again

"I just need someone to hold me together" won't work anymore
I just need to hold myself together and kiss the ground before
Ascending again