I don't have a lot to say, I guess. I'm looking forward to a long weekend. I'm looking forward to spending time with my family on Thursday. I talked to my Dad today and he seems tired. He struggles now, balancing two separate families. Thanksgiving is strange now. My dad is there. My brother and sister are there. Tessa is there. But there is another family at the table. I guess I just don't know how to fit them into my life. We're cordial and polite, but we haven't opened up to each other.

I miss when my mom would put Christmas music on the record player and light candles and set the table with her best plates and silverware. She would serve us stuffed squash (I didn't eat turkey until I was 18) and mashed potatoes and cranberry relish. I miss sitting next to Peter and Marc and helping Kaylie in and out of her high chair and looking across the table to see my parents drinking wine and laughing.

I miss when we were sewn tighter.